Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
