could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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