my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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