Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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