she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
