It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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