im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
