He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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