no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
