i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
