I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
