I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
