How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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