Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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