She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
