Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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