I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
