I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize