I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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