So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
