so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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