Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it glows. i had to have it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
