Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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