All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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