ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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