dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
