im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
