The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
