it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
