I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
