I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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