Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I understand Curling. That high.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.