you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing