Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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