i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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