so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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