My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
