That's when you crack a 10am beer
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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