He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize