Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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