hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize