Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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