are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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