I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
