so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
