ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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