I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
