You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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