Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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