Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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