I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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