Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
