About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
