Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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