I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
