i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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