So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
