I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
